“My cleftie turned ten last month!
Since she was old enough to understand, I have spoken to her about her cleft journey. I recall her seeing a photo of herself pre-cleft repair op, before she was able to speak properly. She looked at the pic and said “Baba lip sore”. I told her that baba was her and because she was only 3 months when she had her lip repaired she obviously didn’t remember and kept shaking her head saying “No”. That was the start of our shared cleft journey.
She now fully understands her journey and doesn’t feel that looking a bit different makes her inferior to other kids.
She had some emotional bullying incidents a few years ago, not related to her cleft. I told her she doesn’t need friends who make her feel less of a person as then they are not her true friends. Fortunately, I was able to speak to the parents who in turn spoke to their kids and it stopped.
My advice to new parents, is that it’s important to talk to your children about their cleft journey so that they can feel comfortable telling others their story.
If your child is being bullied, another consideration is to chat to the teacher and he or she can possibly have a chat with the class.
If your child is not comfortable for the teacher to speak about him/her specifically, then ask the teacher to have a bigger discussion with the class around how children should treat others and how it makes them feel when others make nasty comments.” – Monique, Western Cape
